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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26308192">I'm Fine...I Think</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AoKoiClem/pseuds/AoKoiClem'>AoKoiClem</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Aro/Ace Fics [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(if you squint), Aromantic Asexual Kozume Kenma, Asexual Kuroo Tetsurou, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Bokuto Koutarou is a Good Friend, Developing Friendships, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Fluff, Gen, Genderfluid Kozume Kenma, Happy Ending, Hinata Shouyou is a Good Friend, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Mess, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Cuddling, Protective Kageyama Tobio, Queerplatonic Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Queerplatonic Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Queerplatonic Relationships, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trans Hinata Shouyou, Transphobia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:16:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,931</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26308192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AoKoiClem/pseuds/AoKoiClem</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm fine!" I think. Thats always what they told anyone who ever asked how they were doing but at the end of every night they couldn't help but thing "I'm fine....right?" </p><p>Kenma has been struggling since the start of their 3rd year. They couldn't keep their grades up. They found themself skipping meals. Even playing on their PSP no longer seemed appealing. </p><p>maybe they weren't fine. Maybe they needed Kuroo more than they thought they did.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kozume Kenma, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma &amp; Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Aro/Ace Fics [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906483</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'm Fine...I Think</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>KuroKen Queerplatonic coming right up....andddd queerplatonic KenHina hehehe </p><p>I've always imagined Kenma really struggling during his 3rd year so here I am writing it :p</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kenma really didn't know why they'd agreed to go with Hinata to the mall. They didn't like the mall. They never had. The only reason they went was when Kuroo dragged them there. So the only purpose this trip to the mall had was to remind them of Kuroo, who was away at college. </p><p>Kenma knew they probably should've rejected the offer and stayed home, playing on their PSP or studying. Even if studying no longer helped and playing on their PSP had lost its appeal. </p><p>"Kenma?" Hinata voice cut through their thoughts. Kenma blinked slowly and looked to Hinata who was holding his hand out for Kenma to grab. Kenma grabbed his hand with no hesitation. They loved Hinata like they loved Kuroo and they were the only people they actually enjoyed physical affection from. Hinata gave them a wide smile. "Let's go meet up with Kageyama, I told him to meet us at the candy store!" </p><p>Hinata practically dragged Kenma through the crowded hall. Kenma squeezed Hinata's hand whenever they had to go through a larger crowd. Hinata always squeezed his hand back. A form of comfort that Kenma appreciated. They've never physically mentioned their anxiety to Hinata before but Hinata seemed to always catch on whenever they got anxious. </p><p>Hinata skidded to a stop as they reached the candy shop. Kageyama was sitting on a bench nearby distracted by his phone. Hinata glanced back to Kenma, questioning silently whether Kenma was alright with letting go of his hand. Kenma knew that Hinata wouldn't mind if they decided to keep holding on but knew he also wanted to hug his boyfriend. Kenma gently pulled their hand from Hinata which prompted the boy to smile and launch himself at Kageyama who shouted "Dumbass!" they than needed. </p><p>"Kageyama!" Hinata had a large dorky smile on his face, "Kenma! Lets go! Today is gonna be amazing!" He flung his hands in the air excitedly. "I get to spend it with my two favorite people so there's no way it can't be awesome!"</p><p>It was then that Kenma decided they decided that they would try today...for Hinata.</p><p>The first store Hinata had dragged the two others to was a sports store claiming he needed new practice shorts. Hinata had asked Kenma whether to get the black shorts or the orange ones. Kenma shrugged, "Why not get both?" </p><p>Hinata quickly agreed with Kenma and got both pairs of shorts. The two of them found Kageyama looking at the variety of volleyballs. "Getting a new volleyball for your collection?" Hinata chirped playfully. </p><p>Kenma smiled at that. They'd seen picture of Kageyama's wall of volleyballs. His prized possession or so it seemed. "No, I'm not!" Kageyama squawked indignantly.  </p><p>Kenma pointed to a purple and grey volleyball, "I think you should get this one. It would go nice next to the blue and black one you have." Kageyama spun around to face Kenma, his face red. </p><p>"Hinata! That wasn't for you to share!" Kageyama covered his red face. </p><p>Hinata laughed and hugged Kageyama, "I thought it was cute! I had to share it with Kenma!" </p><p>Moments later Kageyama grumbled and grabbed the purple and grey volleyball off the shelf and sulked off towards the register to pay for it. Hinata shuffled closer to Kenma, "Are you gonna buy anything here?" </p><p>Kenma shook their head, "I don't think so." </p><p>Hinata nodded, "That's okay! I'm sure you'll find something in another shop that you wanna buy!" </p><p>"Yeah." </p><p>Hinata kept the conversation going with ease. Kenma was a listener and Hinata was a talker so it always worked out. Kenma listened to Hinata blabber on about a new move he and Kageyama were working on. Kenma had barely understood most of what Hinata said as it mainly consisted off <em>whooshes, </em><em>bams, </em>and <em>fwooshes.</em>  </p><p>The next shop was a book store. This was a stop Kageyama insisted on. Kageyama's sudden friendship with Tsukishima had prompted his new interest in books <em>and dinosaurs</em>. Kenma had assumed anyways. </p><p>Hinata despite not liking reading that much had gotten a book on volleyball history. Kageyama was looking for a specific book which he was having a hard time finding. Hinata was off looking in the comic book section and Kageyama was getting more frustrated by the second. </p><p>"Whats it called?" Kenma asked awkwardly their eyes glued to their shoes. </p><p>Kageyama muttered the title and Kenma shifted to look at the lower shelves for the book. Kenma scanned the titles quickly. The books weren't sorted in any particular order which was confusing but Kenma quickly found the book. They grabbed it off the shelf and held it out in Kageyama's direction. "Here." </p><p>Kageyama grabbed it. Excitement clearly shining in his eyes. "Thanks." He looked just as awkward as Kenma. </p><p>Kageyama and Kenma met Hinata at the register. Hinata looked mad, Kenma noticed. Hinata didn't get mad often unless someone was being transphobic. Kenma felt a pang of panic rush through them. They weren't nearly as confident in Hinata when it came to their identity. </p><p>Kageyama set his book on the counter next to Hinata's prompting the cashier to glance towards Kenma. The cashier's eyes spotted Kenma's skirt and their face morphed into disgust. "<em>Another</em> one." Kenma flinched, reaching out for the closest hand they could find which happened to be Kageyama's. They squeezed Kageyama's hand as tight as they could. </p><p>"yeah, what of it? Just ring up our stuff." Kageyama huffed. </p><p>The cashier rolled her eyes and rang up Kageyama's book. A snort emitting from her when she picked up Hinata's book, "Mens' volleyball history. Yeah right." </p><p>Kageyama's hand tightened around Kenma's. Kenma watched him, this wasn't like the anger they'd seen on the court. This was a protective anger and it rolled off of him in waves. </p><p>The minute they were out of that shop Kenma snatched their hand from Kageyama's. "I'm sorry-" Kenma inhaled sharply.  </p><p>Kageyama shrugged, "It's fine. Are you two okay?" Kageyama looked from Kenma to Hinata who was grumbling to himself. </p><p>Hinata rubbed his face and nodded, "yeah, I'm all good. Just angry." Hinata ran his hands down his shirt, smoothing the fabric. </p><p>Two sets of eyes turned to Kenma. They fidgeted with their hands. "I'm fine..." they debated their options for a moment, "I think." Kenma looked down at their shoes. They loved their skirts but when things like that happened it made them uneasy about their clothing. </p><p>Hinata took a couple breaths, "Can we stop by the bathroom? I need to take my binder off for a couple minutes and just breathe." </p><p> </p><p>Kenma sat on the bench outside the family bathroom while Kageyama helped Hinata with his binder. Kenma took some deep breaths. They crossed their ankles and focused on staying calm. Today hadn't been horrible so far. Grabbing Kageyama's hand like that did make Kenma cringe now that they'd thought about it but it wasn't awful. Kenma hadn't worn their binder today. They were feeling more fem and didn't mind. </p><p>Kenma pulled their phone out of their pocket. It was a skirt Akaashi had sewn for their birthday last year. Kenma scrolled mindlessly on their phone until a notification dinged. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>2:45pm </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kuroo: Heyy~ Kitten! How're you?</strong>
</p><p>Kenma's heart throbbed painfully thinking about the distance between them. They wanted it to be last year when they  could go next door and just climb into bed with Kuroo when they were upset or hurt. Kenma was always honest with Kuroo, mainly because Kuroo saw straight through them.</p><p>
  <strong>2:47pm</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kenma: I miss you. </strong>
</p><p>Kenma watched the three dots bounce for three minutes. </p><p>
  <strong>2:50pm</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kuroo: I miss you too, Kitten. More than I expected to. Do you want to facetime tonight? We can fall asleep on call. I know its not the same as actually cuddling but I wanna be here for you, Kitten. Even If I can't physically be there. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>2:51pm </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kenma: Please. </strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kenma: Sho is coming by tonight...you wont mind him being on call too, right?</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>2:53pm</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>Kuroo: I don't mind if Chibi-chan is there ;) . I have to go next class is starting I'll call you tonight, Kitten. Bye byeee~ </strong>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Kenma startled when the door behind him opened. They blinked and turned around with wide eyes. Kageyama and Hinata both looked a little flushed and Kenma wanted to gag. "Gross." They looked uncomfortable. </p><p>Hinata's eyes widened, "No! No no! Kenma! We were just flirting! Flirting! That's all!" Hinata waved his hands wildly. </p><p>Kenma nodded. "Still gross." They pointed out as they slipped their phone back into the pocket. "Where to next?" They felt better after messaging Kuroo even if it was just a few messages.</p><p>Kageyama pointed towards the food court, "I was thinking lunch?" </p><p>Hinata's face lit up and Kenma couldn't help but agree. </p><p>They pondered over what to get for a while before they settled on getting a party size of nachos for the three of them to share. Kenma had also gotten themself a bottle of water from a vending machine. When they got back to the table Hinata and Kageyama had somehow managed to get cheese all over their faces. Kenma cringed. They hated messes but had somewhat gotten used to them after eating dinner with Bokuto, Kuroo and Hinata. It was hard not to get used to messy eaters after that.</p><p>Kenma ate a couple bites. They weren't feeling too hungry but they knew they needed to eat especially after not eating dinner or breakfast. They forced themself to eat more than they really wanted to. Once they were done they wiped their hands off and sipped the water. They knew these two would probably finish the nachos off and still want seconds. </p><p>"Kenma, Am I still coming over tonight?" Hinata asked around a mouthful of food. </p><p>Kageyama smacked Hinata atop his head, "Dumbass! Don't talk with your mouth full!" </p><p>"But Kageyama! Your mouth is full!" Hinata whined as Kageyama smack his head again. </p><p>Kenma nodded after they'd settled down, "yeah, I was still planning on you coming over tonight." Kenma shifted awkwardly. </p><p>Hinata beamed. Cheese all over his face, "Great! I can't wait!" </p><p> </p><p>It was on their way out of the mall that Kenma finally spotted something they wanted to buy. They'd seen it through the window of a shop. Kenma lagged behind not wanting to take his eyes off the stuffed cat with black fur in the window of the shop designated for kids. </p><p>"Huh? Kenma? Did you see something?" Hinata turned around as soon as he noticed Kenma had stopped walking. Hinata followed Kenma's gaze curiously.</p><p>Kenma blushed and shook their head. "Nope. Nothing, lets go." Kenma tried to walk away from the store. </p><p>"Okay! Lets go!" Hinata shouted them starting walking towards the store. </p><p>"Shoyo, its really not that important-" </p><p>"If you saw something you wanted we're going in." Kageyama said as he caught up with Hinata. </p><p>Kenma huffed and followed behind them. Kenma looked around embarrassingly as they saw all the various families within the store. They didn't really like kids. They were gross and always picked their nose.</p><p>"so what was it you wanted to get for Natsu?" Hinata asked, shifting his gaze towards Kenma. Kenma sighed in relief and walked towards the black cat. Its fur was longer than he thought but they loved it. </p><p>They held the cat out towards Hinata. Normally Kenma would pay for it but Hinata had insisted that he pay for anything Kenma wanted today which irked them because they hated when people payed for their stuff. "Erm..this...I think Natsu would really like it." They muttered and looked away from the two of them. </p><p>"Okay!" Hinata chirped and skipped to the register to pay. </p><p>Kenma shoved their hands in their pocket and hoped that this would be over soon. They could already imagine Kuroo teasing them for this. </p><p>"you know," Kageyama started, drawing Kenma's attention, "it kinda looked like Kuroo-san," </p><p>Kenma blushed and looked anywhere but at Kageyama, "Shut up!" They muttered harshly. </p><p>Kageyama huffed, "Wait a minute." Kageyama paused, "did you want it because it looked like-" </p><p>Kenma cut him off. "I said shut up!" Kenma snapped. </p><p>Kageyama snorted but dropped the topic. </p><p>"Here you go, Kenma!" Hinata passed the stuffed cat over to Kenma who gently grabbed it. </p><p>"Thank you." Kenma said softly as they admired the cat. </p><p> </p><p>Hinata linked arms with Kenma as they headed out of the mall.  Kageyama had parted ways half way back, his mom had parked on the opposite end of the mall. </p><p>Kenma sighed. They had a nice time today. Something they hardly said or thought since Kuroo left. "Shoyo?" </p><p>Hinata hummed in response. </p><p>"I had a nice time today...I wanted to thank you for inviting me." Kenma had a sneaking suspicion that Hinata knew Kenma had been struggling lately. </p><p>Hinata nodded, "of course! I'm glad you smiled today! And you and Kageyama look a lot closer! No longer just tolerating each other because of me." </p><p>Kenma winced that was true for a while the two just put up with each other because it would've made Hinata upset if they didn't but Kenma could see Kageyama as a friend in the future. "Yeah..." </p><p>Hinata laughed. "It's okay! I knew it would be a rough start. Now," Hinata paused as they reached Kenma's car, "What do you say we go to your house and cuddle?"</p><p>"Yeah!" Kenma said excitedly. </p><p> </p><p>Kenma flopped into their couch tiredly. They hadn't gone out in ages so a single day at the mall exhausted them. Kenma changed out of their skirt and dress shirt and into a pair of sweats and Kuroo's old hoodie. </p><p>"Shoyo!" Kenma whined. Hinata was taking too long and Kenma was craving cuddles. </p><p>"I'm here! I'm here!" Hinata scrambled into the room wearing sweats and a white tshirt. His arms full of various snacks they both loved. Hinata set the snacks down and climbed onto the couch instantly cuddling up to Kenma who seemed to relax almost instantly. </p><p>Kenma pulled Hinata closer to them and sighed. "What're we gonna watch tonight?" Kenma asked softly. </p><p>"I was thinking Disney?" Hinata asked hopefully. </p><p>Kenma agreed and queued up their favorite disney movie, The Aristocats.</p><p>It was quiet for the first half of the movie they just stayed close enjoying each others presence. </p><p>Hinata was the first one to talk, "Hey Kenma? You know I love you, right?"</p><p>Kenma nodded, "yeah...I love you too" they both knew what type of love they were talking about. It wasn't romantic or just best friends. It was its own type of love and they were fine with it. </p><p>"I know. I'm worried about you..." </p><p>"oh." Kenma felt bad. They didn't mean to worry Hinata. That was the last thing they wanted to do. </p><p>"It's okay. I just- I know Kuroo-san was really important to you and its really hard on you now that he's gone." Hinata said softly. </p><p>"He's not <em>dead, </em>Sho." </p><p>Hinata squawked, "I know that! I just meant-" </p><p>Kenma cut him off, "I know what you meant and you're right. I miss him a lot." </p><p>It was silent for a moment. "Is that why you got the cat?" </p><p>Kenma smiled softly, "yeah...it reminds me of him. Is that weird?" </p><p>Hinata shook his head..."I don't think so. I think its cute!" </p><p>They both jumped when Kenma's phone rang. Hinata hopped out of Kenma's arms and grabbed the phone he pressed accept and saw Kuroo's face appear in front of him. "Hi Kuroo-san!" Hinata beamed.</p><p>"Hey, Chibi-chan!" Kuroo shouted as Hinata passed the phone to Kenma. </p><p>Kenma just stared at Kuroo for a moment. Kenma felt all the emotions they've been repressing crash down onto them. They wanted to smile and sob at the same time. They felt Hinata cuddle up beside them. It was comforting but made them long for Kuroo. Kenma's body shook. Tears filled their eyes. </p><p>"Kuro," Kenma sniffled, holding the black stuffed cat to their chest. </p><p>"Kitten," Kuroo sighed. "is that supposed to be me?" Kuroo asked suddenly, referring to the cat. </p><p>"Kuro- what no! Of course not!" Kenma grabbed a tissue and blew their nose. </p><p>"Awwah~ How adorable of you, Kitten." </p><p>"Kuro! I told you its just-" Kenma tried to convince Kuroo otherwise when Kuroo pulled a stuffed cat into the camera frame. Kuroo's stuffed cat had patches of orange, black and white. </p><p>"It seems we both had the same idea, Kitten." Kuroo teased. </p><p>Kenma blinked, "huh?" </p><p>Kuroo snorted and Bokuto pushed himself into the frame. "He got it because of youu! Said he needed something to remind him of his precious Kitten! It was mushy! and cute! I should tell Akaashi!" Bokuto tried to pull his own phone out but it tumbled from his hands. Kuroo smiled fondly and shoved Bokuto out of the frame. </p><p>"How have you been, Kitten?" Kuroo shifted and leaned against his pillows. </p><p>Kenma looked down at Hinata who was now snoring softly. "I haven't been eating right again and I hardly sleep." Kenma said honestly. </p><p>Kuroo sighed, "I was afraid of that...are you seeing your therapist again?" </p><p>"yeah...I have an appointment every Wednesday." </p><p>"Good. Good. Kenma?" </p><p>"huh? What?" </p><p>"I love you." </p><p>Kenma smiled softly, "Thank you." They spoke quietly. </p><p>"What don't you love me, Kitten~? I'm wounded!" Kuroo grabbed at his chest and pretended to die. </p><p>"You already know I do, stupid," </p><p>"yeah," Kuroo replied and stared at his phone screen dumbly before he smirked. "So, Kitten~ tell me all about how you're squishing on Kageyama," Kuroo purred teasingly. </p><p>Kenma squawked, "I am <em>not</em> squishing on Kageyama!"</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heyooooo hope you enjoyed this fic. I liked the open ish ending of this fic- like I could imagine kenma hanging up on kuroo then calling him back seconds later la;kdsj; </p><p>be sure to point out typos cuz im a dumbass and prob wont see them </p><p>anyways- what'd you think of it?</p></blockquote></div></div>
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